The wonder boy has returned from a land far away,
Back from Japan after an 8 month stay.
Long days in the office and 9 hours ahead,
You still found time for a chat before bed.
'Face time' allowed me to openly declare,
The effects your looks have; I can't help but stare.
"You're so handsome Jacob”; how do you do it?
He'd roll his eyes as if he knew it.
A week-long visit was all I could steal,
Entrusting a vending machine to give us a meal.
Cat cafés, lost in translation,
A weekend in Kyoto, the perfect vacation.
Back home for me and for you the final push,
Working so hard you nearly lost that tush.
Junk in your trunk due to "muscular thighs",
Your mouth starts twitching when you tell such lies.
In our time apart I would never have guessed,
You could teach yourself to be better dressed.
Uncle Bernard is now a thing of the past,
But will this "cool" new image really last?
One more trip just had to be done,
Where else but the Maldives to have our fun?
A glass bottom villa and a fresh white robe,
Lost in paradise on the other side of the globe.
Celebrating the news we had hoped for most,
The job he wanted with a London post.
Fully qualified and snapped up by Ashurst,
Your mum so proud she was fit to burst.
The pillar of your success, how can I compare?
To be second best is all I dare.
Witchypoos has had to give up the fight.
"She's living with me", it seems you were right.
With a plan to move in to Oval Road,
The Lockhouse will become our humble abode.
To avoid that tap and test your love,
You'll be sent on a run and awoken with a shove.
So take my advice and keep that fridge stocked,
Fresh bottled water else you'll find the door locked.
I must remind you we will be living in sin;
Until we have a dog our honest lives can't begin.
Happy times ahead with my very best friend,
Mr S and Madame Shnoobly together until the end.
And now to say a few words about the girl next to me,
My beautiful bride, my wife, my Emily.
Let me take you all back to how we first met,
On a rugby pitch, cold, muddy and wet,
There I stood, distracted for a while,
By the girl with big brown eyes and a killer smile.
But before I could make a move or profess my aims,
“Come meet my Girlfriend”, said my best mate James.
And so for four years we were strictly just chums,
They say for those who wait, a good thing always comes.
Many years later as we’d regrettably lost touch,
A call came from Gareth “What you up to?”, “Not much”,
“A few of us are going for a meal, why don’t you come?
Emily will be there, it will be fun”.
Most would think nothing of it and neither did I,
Until I began to see our future in my mind’s eye.
As I looked in the mirror that night, part of me knew
That this was the beginning of me and you.
After an evening spent chatting it occurred to me
How useful my dog Archie might prove to be.
With your beloved Jessie in tow we explored the Norfolk coast,
Enjoying generous discounts from my Auntie at the Hoste.
And so our lives came together and it was time to meet the family,
Your side never fail to find a new nickname for me.
Due to my work with potatoes I am ‘Spud’ to Chris,
‘Saucy' to your Sister, although I don’t know why that is.
At Nigel and Judy’s it’s a boozy affair and a three-course meal,
Wine for their Tid and non-alcoholic for me when behind the wheel.
Upon meeting my Dad you tried to seem enthralled by all he said,
When he gave you a tour of his ‘museum’; the tractor collection in his shed.
Still to this day he won’t let it go
That your interest in his Fordsons is only so so.
As time has gone by, we’ve set up home together,
Your organisation ensures there isn’t a storm we can’t weather.
Always a pie chart, a graph, a list of things to do,
Her jobs marked in pink and mine in blue.
Our nightly routine has become quite a competition;
Whoever is last upstairs is faced with a simple mission:
Put the dogs to bed and turn off all the lights,
Bring a glass of water to share and there won’t be any fights.
Over the years we’ve made memories, travelled, and achieved,
You’ve made my life more perfect than I’d ever have believed.
And here today it officially starts, it’s only just begun,
With you by my side, something tells me the best is yet to come.
My dearest Sweet William here’s a tribute to you,
Celebrating your traits and all that makes you, you.
I remember our first meeting, a wonderful surprise,
On a grassy patch of Greenwich Park, you appeared before my eyes.
Chosen at a service station you almost weren’t selected,
Your brother was slightly cuter but his limp left him neglected.
It was you we brought home and began to get to know,
Endless games of “William in the middle”, we’d watch you grow and grow.
From an early age you set the tone and showed me who was boss;
Other dogs are not welcome and always make you cross.
If visitors arrive at home you’ll rudely disappear,
Sulking upstairs until the coast is clear.
‘Master of the house’ you are simply spoilt rotten,
Sharing my bed, accustomed to Egyptian cotton.
Our local walk in Oxlea woods has taught you a thing or two,
You choose your victims wisely and know just what to do.
Sprinting up to those with treats and begging like a fool,
They soon give in and offer you food, if only to stop the drool.
Not a fussy eater, but a taste for carrots or tissue,
If I leave my handbag on the floor there’s bound to be an issue.
A day spent at Whitstable is always carefree;
Nothing makes you happier than swimming in the sea.
The only thing that’s ever met with a bark of great dislike,
Is anything with wheels, be it wheelchair, pram or bike!
The inspiration behind my business, you’ve proven quite the muse,
Your branded name is everywhere, you’ve even made the news.
I promise you plenty more walks, avoiding any nasty hills,
My life is what you make it, my best friend, my Wills.
30TH BIRTHDAY POEM
My dearest Elders you've hit the big 3-0!
How can this be - where does the time go?
It doesn't seem long since you first hit the scene,
Pulling into our drive as a fresh faced teen.
You both drove Peugeots; it was meant to be,
Now just the task of impressing the family.
Nice to meet you - the sister's aloof,
Worse than the Dad to tell you the truth.
The brother's ok, easy to please,
I'll pretend to like Xbox, such a breeze.
The Mum's friendly, a warm host,
Just needs to be quiet and get on with the roast.
Yes, he thought as he settled in,
If I play this right I'm on to a win.
Let's travel the world and get away,
Save work and Uni for a rainy day.
"Now you're back you must set up a home",
Your Grandpa said as he handed me a comb.
I'll whisk her off to London and ask her straight,
It's me or Gareth, don't make me wait.
With a ring on her finger I'd sealed the deal,
I was pedal to the floor no hands on the wheel.
I'll quit this gig at Pygott & Crone;
Too many Saturdays are making me moan.
What do I love and what am I good at?
A game of Monopoly soon answered that.
For all of your property needs, whatever they may be,
Look no further than Tom and Toby.
Life moved on at a charming pace,
Until one day they discovered a place,
All burnt out and in need of a plan;
Let's put in a bid and live in a van.
And so they did and with a kid on the way,
He worked every hour, night and day.
The house was a dream; he knew how to spoil her,
Just no one mention the bloody boiler.
Tools down, it was full steam ahead,
Celebrating the arrival of Archie Ted.
So take 30 in your stride, you've achieved a lot.
There's plenty of time to be a better shot.
Enjoy your thirties, I hope they rock.
And long may you find 20 pounds in a sock.
What will I see when I think of you?
A flash of memories that go back as far as I do.
It's our four O'clock swims, racing from school,
Changing in a rush to join you in the pool.
It's the pictures of us getting used to our skis,
The best way to learn was between your knees.
It's learning to drive or at least steer,
We'd sit on your lap and watch you change gear,
You'd do the pedals and we'd take the wheel,
"Just keep it straight" that was the deal.
It's playing snakes and ladders on Saturday nights,
The girls would sing while the boys did the lights.
It's walking around the factory eating dog bones,
It's you in your chair watching tv with your headphones.
It's hot summer days playing on the tennis court.
It's Christmas Day with a glass of your port.
It's the advice you'd give and that famous line:
"It's all for the best if you can see it at the time."
It's the stories of your plane and how you loved to fly.
I'll think of you leaving marks across the sky.
It's the sound of your whistle which said you were near.
That signature tune we can all still hear.
I'll keep in mind every little thing you did,
Happy to remember a life so well lived.