As Wedding Season is upon us, here's a wedding speech we wrote for a Bridesmaid about the Bride...

What can I say about Aileen?
She calls us all princesses, when in fact she's the queen!
She nicknamed Emma and I, Nicole Ritchie and Paris Hilton,
When she is nothing short of a pampered Kate Middleton!
She is the first to protest she hasn't got any money,
But with a portfolio of properties, we find this quite funny!
Flying off on holiday at least five times a year,
Her choice of transport has also gone up a gear,
Gone are the days of driving your blue Honda 'cervix'
Now you cruise in an Audi A4 estate, because you are worth it!
Only the finest skincare brands are allowed to touch your skin,
And when it comes to cups of tea, where do I begin?
Other people's tea bags simply won't do,
She'll always bring her own, God forbid Tetley or Typhoo!
She can't possibly ever sit in the back of a car,
Even in Croatia where she was the smallest by far,
Oh no, when the world's tiniest hire car appeared, Ails had the knack,
She took the front seat, leaving Me, Emma & Vicks squashed in the back!
And when it came to choosing rooms we were all quite happy to share,
Except for Ails who slept in a double room, peacefully without a care!
Thankfully we all believe you've more than met your match since
Jimmy too can be a bit of a diva; the most suitable prince!
We wish you a lifetime of happiness filled with love and laughter,
Now that the secret princess has found her 'happily ever after'.